Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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