Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
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No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
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In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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