Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize