No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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