And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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