saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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