I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize