K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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