I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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