Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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