The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
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She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
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WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize