I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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