Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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