His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize