Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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