you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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