i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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