If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
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today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
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Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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