It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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