just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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