guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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