I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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