Kiss
Puke
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Everyone says I win the strip club
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize