i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize