I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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