We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize