He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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