I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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