You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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