No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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