I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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