my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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