Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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