I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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