I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
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She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
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you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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