Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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