You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize