just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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