I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just cut my nipple shaving
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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