When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
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Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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