I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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