when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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