Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize