he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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