I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize