I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize