I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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