i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
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You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
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Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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