Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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