I like my sex mixed with concussions.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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