when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
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He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
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He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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